Judging Covers

Whoever said that you couldn't judge a book by its cover was obviously not talking about books. You could always judge books by their covers. Look at a dictionary or any old testbook. You can tell right away that those books are sleeping pills disguised as books.

Now, look at the some of the more fun books. Look at those romance novels. They're awfully transparent. The high-point of the story is drawn on the cover. The story is practically on the cover: they meet and fall in love.

But of course, judging covers won't be accurate.
It would be more accurate to judge books by their first sentences.

It was a dark and stormy night.
-A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L'Engle

Oh, come on. That's a classic first sentence. It's hard to pull off another sentence after a sentence like that. I mean, when someone says, "It was a dark and stormy night", a lot of things just build up. You have to respect an author who just jumps in a starts a book this way.

It certainly beats "Once upon a time..."; that is so cliche. When Paulo Coehlo started Eleven Minutes with that, I knew it was a dumb book. And Eleven Minutes is, in my opinion, a dumb book. It is also a great introduction to female anatomy and various coital paradigms.

It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.
-Charles Dicken's Tale of Two Cities

Now, this line is marvelous. Of course, it's also quite confusing, but then who cares? It has rhythm. It can pierce your soul. You could dance under a full moon to this line. You could use this on any occasion. You couldn't go wrong with a line like this. Need a pick-up line? Need a starting line for a letter? A header for your resume? There you go: "It was the best of times; it was the worst of times."

But the best way to judge books would be to read them and then wait ten years. If in ten years, you still know the title, it's a nice book. If you know the basic plot, it's a good book. If you know the characters and the story arc, it's a great book. If you can quote it verbatim and use it in your various writings and are in the belief that it is the greatest book you have ever read, then you probably should read more books.

But who has time to read books?
Or read the first lines of books?

What's the point anyway?
The cover's staring at you.