What I'd Rather Do With My Life

In a month, I'm finally going to get my B.S. degree major in Psychology. Finally, I can B.S. my way through life. I can, after graduating, hang my diploma on the wall and say, "that's four years of my life in that piece of paper."

Then it's off to the wonderful land of human cadavers and rote learning. Yipee. I'm so excited I could just die. But that's not a sure thing yet. Nothing's a sure thing. All my little plans could come tumbling down like a house of cards. I'm expecting it to.

Any second now.

But for the meantime, I'll keep building up my fine house of cards. Just to pass the time. If I run out of cards, maybe I'll just blow it down myself and start from scratch.

"If I lived in a perfect world, I'd be a jazz pianist. Not rock...real jazz. The kind of never play the same way twice kind of jazz."

That's from some guy who wrote a book*. There are some things I would rather do with my life, if the world was perfect. But the world isn't perfect, and so I have to do things that are productive and responsible.

In a perfect world, these are the things I'd rather be doing:

Paper Scientist. I'd be happy just doing this all my life. Nothing but looking at paper, comparing different kinds of paper, making new kinds of paper. Paper, paper, paper. My whole life revolving around paper.

Blind Musician. I wouldn't want to be blind and stupid. But if I was or am going to be, I'd be happy just playing a guitar or keyboard or drums or even a tambourine for the rest of my life. Do you see those blind bands that sprout up in the malls when the holidays start? Just to play whatever music you want everyday would be heaven. But I'm not blind and fate gave me a brain that works so I have no choice but to use it.

Pope/Dalai Lama. This job is so cool. You get to travel around the world and forgive people you don't even know and ask for forgiveness from people you didn't even wrong and generally just spread the love. And people listen to you, just as long as you stay in character. Of course, you have to take all those silly vows.

Taxi Driver. If I really had no care in the world, I'd buy a good car, rev up the engine, plug in the most expensive sound system in the world, get some cool shades and a pair of racing gloves, and be a taxi driver. In the morning, I could drive my taxi. In the evening, I could waste all my money in videoke bars. And every now and then, I could go drag racing.

B-2/F-22/F-117 Pilot. I don't need to explain this.

Really Famous Writer/Director/Comicbook Artist/Photographer/Chef. Once you're really famous, anything you do is a masterpiece. No matter how stupid. Look at Wong Kar Wai's 2046. Steven Soderbergh's Full Frontal. Coehlo's Eleven Minutes. Abstract Art. All those bestsellers by Clancy and Christie and Cussler. Schumacher's Batman Flops. At any mainstream popstar album. All Local TV Shows. All those straight-to-video Disney cartoon sequels. Michael Bay. Marvel's Storylines in the 90s. Ezra Pound's Cantos. Civilization 3. The Star Wars Prequels. The food at Bob's Place Bacolod. Microsoft Windows. The Cohen Brothers. David Lynch. Streetfighter Series. I'm tired from all the thinking.

Kalawakanaut. The first Filipino in space. Take that all you Astronauts, Cosmonauts, and Taikonauts. Last I heard, a girl in NASA is training to be the first Kalawakanaut. Another dream shattered.

Environmentalist. Be an Eco-Warrior and Rainbow Six** the world.

Dead Cat.


* Kurt Vonnegutt's Hocus Pocus
** Play the Video Game/Read the Book