Narrative Therapy

I'm writing this for me self, so it'll probably bore everyone but me. And it'll release all the tension for doomsday tomorrow. I'm trying out Kerouac's voice. This is pure, simple, booooring narrative.

I woke up today at exactly 7:01 after having a dream of me talking with my aunt. I remember waking up in the middle of grumbling "Opo, auntie," which is why I remembered the dream. I sat on my bed and saw my roommates dragging a long hose into the bathroom. The water pressure's low again, so I went back to sleep.

I woke up again at 7:30, got up, wore a cap and jeans and shirt, took a rumpled lab coat, grabbed my lab manual and atlas, and went to school. I don't take baths on Thursday mornings. The lab will get me smelling like dead cats by the time it's over so I might as well take the bath after lab.

I have a lecture at 7:00 but the prof just reads from the book. I might as well sleep another thirty minutes and arrive at 7:45 than arrive early and listen to that sleeping pill. I forgot that today was exam results day and, knowing my lecture prof, this would probably the only chance I'd get to see my score. I took my first taxi of the day. It cost me 60 pesos.

They were repainting the Bio building blue when I got there. Maybe they finally realized that dark gray isn't the best color for school buildings. Prisons maybe, but not school buildings. The classroom was empty when I got there. I was going to sneak in again while the prof was reading from the book.

So, I went to CASAA and ate breakfast: hotdog, egg, and rice.

I walked back to the half-blue Bio building and bumped into April and Misha. They went to CASAA to eat breakfast. I went with them to eat again. I got a 10-peso taho. April got a 20-peso taho. Misha got a big breakfast. He complained. He said that he thought we were eating breakfast.

We went back to the Bio building after breakfast and went in lab class. No one was there. Turns out, an announcement was said yesterday during the exams concerning cancelled classes. Lecture's been cancelled for two weeks straight already. I'm beginning to miss my lecture prof.

Not.

We were the only three people who weren't listening to the announcement. I was probably spaced out. I've been spacing out a lot lately. First, I think about tomorrow and then everything just goes blank. It's helping me, I guess. When I'm spaced out, I don't worry.

I bought expensive gloves from the Chem Pavillion but they didn't fit. So April and I exchanged gloves. She helps me out a lot. It was her handouts that got me passing grades on the last two exams. Maybe I'm her do-a-good-deed project.

Her yellow gloves didn't fit either. I ended up buying the smelly rubber gloves from Kim.

We were supposed to find the veins of the hepatic portal system and the precava. Jericho and I butchered the hepatic portal system. I started spacing out after I stopped and looked at we had done to the cat's digestive system. He kept on playing with his scalpel and butchered it some more.

I snapped out of it when the class was starting with the precava. I grabbed the scalpel and started hacking away, cutting this and that, cleaning up the fat of my dead cat. I finished and spaced out again. Jericho started reading the manual. He was amazed. I even amazed myself. I cut the right things and left intact the right things. Not a single mistake. Nice.

I spaced out.

Yakal dorm was having an open house tomorrow. April invited us all. Misha found a way to stear the conversation towards sex from dorms. He always finds a way to steer the conversation towards sex.

I couldn't go because of the thing tomorrow.

I went home, took a bath. I had to hurry because I had so much to do.

I went to Equitable to get my card. The last time I went there, they told me to get an affidavit of loss. I asked for my card from the bank lady. The lady opened a metal box, took out my card and was about to give it to me when she withdrew her hand and asked me for my affidavit. Equitable can drop dead.

BPI is a lot more friendly to its customers. They don't need affidavits for lost cards. I took my second taxi of the day and went to the branch in Matalino Street far, far away. My branch on Kalayaan Avenue was being renovated. The fare was 95 pesos. I got to pass by Maayusin and Matahimik Streets on the way. I saw my old boarding houses. I'm glad I don't live there anymore.

The BPI branch was full of people because it was handling the clients of two big branches. The dot matrix printers were all printing at the same time. One was printing whole lines and went krrrrrrrt krrrrrrrt. The other ones were printing receipts and went krrt krrt krrt krrt. It was a dot matrix symphony.

I took my third and last taxi of the day back to UP. The driver kept on ranting about the closed Academic Oval and how it was causing a lot of traffic blah blah blah. I was spaced out the whole time.

I went to my book supplier and got another Pratchett, Breakfast of Champions, and Henry Sack Sullivan's book on conducting psychiatric interviews. Total cost: 350 pesos. He told me my long-awaited Mort Trilogy was coming next week.

I passed by Palma Hall Lobby. There was another walk-out from classes and Randy David was speaking in front of a crowd. Since freshman year, I've been trying to get in his classes. Now, I'm graduating and I've never heard him speak. I stayed a while and listened.

There were TV cameras there. I wanted to wave and say, "Hello parents. Look, I'm in a rally. Sort of." I have direct orders from my parents and my aunt not to join rallies.

I ran to my Soc Sci 2 class and the prof showed us Septem8er Tapes. It was a documentary shot with a handheld in Afghanistan. I was getting a headache from the movie. I had the deepest desire to puke. Because of the wonders of Biopsychology, I know that a few neurons in my temporal lobe are telling the rest of my body that the something's wrong with the world and that puking might help bring back things to normal. Knowing about it makes it worse.

And the audio of the film was so bad. Couldn't they edit out the constant psssht? I had to constantly apply pressure to my head but each time I did this, I had to smell the rubbery smell of gloves on my hands. I really wanted to space out but the neurons telling me to puke were just too loud.

The film had a hanging ending. Sort of.
I couldn't space out so I had to watch the whole thing.

I hurried out once the prof dismissed us and the Acad Oval was full of activity. A stage was being set up for a rally tomorrow probably. I wouldn't be here to see it. The ROTC band was marching along the Oval playing some band songs. People from the 2:30 classes were going home. People with 4:00 classes were coming in. And not a single car in sight. I would've spaced out all the way to the jeepney stop if it wasn't for the reverse perstalsis that was waiting to happen.

I took the LRT2 to Cubao. I haven't been there in a while. I used to pass by there everyday at midnight. The 4-ride commute that went on circles around Quezon City was cheaper by 60 pesos than the short taxi ride to the place where I sleep. That was way back when I was living in Maayusin Street. Thank God that's over.

I scanned the movies showing. Nothing worth watching. Vendetta coming in 13 days. I've stopped watching movies ever since my sister went off to the Stars and Stripes. No one will pay for my movie tickets anymore. Vendetta will be my first movie of the year. I'll watch it no matter what happens.

I passed by Fully Booked to check out the new stock. I found a new writer who had small novelettes. I can't remember his name. The only reason I bought his book was a blurb from Gerry Alanguilan said that he's good. He must be good. Fourth book of the day. This is an addiction already. I don't even have time to read all of them.

I bought some slacks and a shirt for the next day. It was only when I was already on my way back when I realized I just bought my grade school uniform: white polo and brown slacks. I spaced out all the way home.

My father called me up.
He told me to call my mother.
I called up my mother.
Ryan answered.
I told him I was going to Portugal.
He said, "Yeah, right."
My mother talked to me.
And told me everything I needed to hear.

I don't feel like puking anymore and I haven't spaced out since the ride home.
Maybe tomorrow won't be as bad as I expect it to be.

Tomorrow, I want it to rain.



That sure was long.